Thursday, March 18, 2010

Mama Kat's Writers Workshop

It's time for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

Mama's Losin' It

I have decided to tackle Prompt #4:

Describe how your relationship with your spouse is different then the relationship your parents had while you were growing up.

Wow - this is a doozy!  My parents divorced when I was very young, around 5 or so.  And they rarely spoke after that.  I vividly remember planning my own visitation with my father starting at about age 10.  My mother avoided confrontation and conversation with my father at all cost!  

In fact I moved in with my father when I was 16.  When it was time for high school graduation, I didn't even think my mother was going to attend because she didn't want to deal with my father - she did eventually decide to attend.  As a child, I didn't think much of any of this - it was normal to me.

However all of that being said, I KNEW that I did not want to subject my children to that same type of dysfunction.  My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years.  We have had rough times like all couples, but there is a fundamental trust between us.

Before we had children, we talked seriously - if we were thinking about getting out, we needed to do it before the kids came. Once the kids came, we had to make this work no matter what!  We approach everything as a team - equal partners.  We share responsibility for the kids, the housework, laundry...  The kids know we love each other.  We don't hide arguments from them, but they also see us compromise and make-up.  

My sister-in-law calls us the "Bickersons" because we apparently bicker bicker bicker.  I don't even notice that; I guess it has just become second nature.  The kids don't think much of it either - they jump right in!

All in all my relationship with my husband is completely different than my parents relationship, thank goodness!


Andrea said...

The Bickerson's? That's pretty funny. It is interesting to hear the things that other people pick up on that we don't even notice because they are second nature.

Shari said...

Congrats to you for 17 years--woo woo!!

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