Friday, May 21, 2010

Road Rage - the uncensored version...

Ok - so you all know I started a new job a couple of weeks.  My previous 10 mile commute is now about a 40 minute commute.  It is almost all PA turnpike, so no big deal - NOT!  I have noticed that by the time I get to work, my nerves are absolutely raw!

WTF is wrong with Pennsyltucky drivers?? As a side, I used to think that I was insulting PA by referencing Kentucky when referring to Pennsyltucky.   I have changed my position -  I apologize from the bottom of my heart to all the Kentuckians out there.  I have no idea how Pennsylvania outranks Kentucky in educational statistics - if our drivers are any indication of the intellectual magnitude of the people of this commonwealth, we are in serious trouble!

First of all, why is it so damn difficult to merge??  MERGE DAMMIT!  Don't start - stop - start - stop, then wait until I am on top of you to go! 

When driving in the fast lane - you are actually supposed to be passing another car - i.e. driving FAST.  If you don't want to drive fast then for the love of God, please just stay in the slow lane!

Do I have a sign on my van that says, "please cut me off"??  Well apparently I do.  Yo Day Audi service van that proceeded to squeeze between me and the car in front of me on route 22 this morning just prior to the entrance to the parkway, F-You!  What - there wasn't enough room behind me?  There was nobody behind me you douchebag!

People on your cell phones - HANG UP!  You are worse than drunk drivers!  When I see someone at a red light yapping away on his/her cell phone, I just want to walk up to them, and yank the cell phone out of their hands!

Old retired people - why do you need to be out driving in the morning when working people who are still contributing to social security are trying to get to work so that you can continue to receive your social security checks?   You cannot possible have anywhere to go - NOTHING IS EVEN OPEN yet!  Stay home - sleep in - get out of my f'in way already!

Will the PA turnpike ever NOT be under construction??  Ever??  It is a freaking goat path that is always under construction yet there is no marked improvement?   And while I am on the subject, whoever designed the drainage system for the PA turnpike should really be taken out and shot.  Seriously, the slightest bit of rain and I am hydroplaning for miles. 

I want a giant megaphone on the front of my van so that I can just scream at all of these people when they totally piss me off.  Screaming INSIDE the car is not helping me!

Ok - I am done venting for now.  Thanks for listening!


Law Momma said...

LMAO especially about the retired folks!!!!!

Nikki said...

I laughed A LOT at this post. I f'ing hate traffic. I have some slight road rage issues as well. I don't understand how traffic can come to a complete stop...if people drove like they were supposed to this wouldn't happen. It perplexes me!
Oh and the little old the road please!!!

Emily said...

I commute 45 miles each way to work & I feel your pain! Except mine is on the Florida turnpike, but it sounds like we've met some of the same drivers. SO true!

Kaffeine Addict said...

You should retire to France...traffic is so much better, just stay away from Paris LOL

Stacey said...

This cracked me up! It's the same here!

Kristy said...

I have ideas for a road rage post as well! The idiots among us are thick on the road. Much material for blogging! Glad you feel better!

cathyjoy said...

WTF is it with traffic??? and i have to drive 45 miles to get anywhere and i don't think drivers in new mexico even have to take driver's ed. and yeah - isn't the fast lane called the "fast lane" for a freakin reason?? And...WTF is the person at the front of the line of cars doin anyway?? better stop - i could go on for hours!!!