Tuesday, July 6, 2010

A sad post today...

Well - it is Post it Note Tuesday, but I don't have any witty Post-Its today...  This post is going to be a difficult one for me...  I started this blog months ago to have a place to rant.  None of my "real" friends or family knew about it.  Then gradually, I told a few people.  The result of that has been that I have censored this blog.  Today will be a very uncensored post...

The Enginerd and I have decided to end our marriage.  It is difficult to even type those words - I still cannot bring myself to say to D-word.  We have been married for 17 years; I have been with him since I was 16 years old; this is something I NEVER thought I would I go through; it is a sad sad time.

We are trying to work together to make this separation as amicable as possible.  Obviously we will always be in each others lives, and we are hoping to remain friends.  He has been in my life for 25 years...  He has given me 2 beautiful children...  There was a time when we were happy and in love...  I am holding onto all of that - he will always hold a special place in my heart, and a piece of me will always love him.  But the sadness in our marriage is pervasive, and we both deserve to be happy.  We also owe it to our children to create positive, happy environments for them, and we have failed at that for some time.

For all of my "real life" friends out there - please do not email, text, phone, or IM me with tons of questions.  I do not want to talk!  I have chosen a few select, very old, dear friends and family members to confide in about this.  I am also continuing to see a therapist to work through the grief and all of the other emotions that I am experiencing right now.

Thank you friends - for listening to me ramble on about this difficult time.

16 comments:

Pamela said...

xoxo

hotpants™ said...

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time.

Dazee Dreamer said...

you are in my thoughts. I went through a separation 2-1/2 years ago while my husband was having a mid-life crisis. Just know that you will be thought of constantly.

Christy said...

praying for you

Law Momma said...

Oh honey.

I ache for you. Honest to God ache. I don't know you but I'm an email away anytime.

Shell said...

Sending prayers!

Vee said...

This post touched me and I'm sorry to hear this sad news. Sending prayers. XOXO

Nikki said...

I think you are very brave to write this post. I'm so very sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like you have a great support system though. Follow your heart and do what you know is right for you and your family!
Loves!!!

Gail said...

I'm so sorry...prayers for you and your family.

my4kidsma said...

I just stumbled upon your blog today. I'm so sorry. I left my husband of 17 years in December. This post sounds like I could have written it, except that I have four kids. Hang in there honey, it does get better. Just so you know, the kids & I are doing GREAT in this sucky situation. Sometimes it is better to move on.

Kat said...

You are at the same place I was when I got divorced. I also saw a therapist (marriage counselor by myself) that helped me tremendously. You will get through this. If you want someone more removed from the situation to vent to, feel free to shoot me an email.

Kristy said...

I am so sorry to hear you are going through such a hard and stressful time. Find small ways to take care of yourself.

Carol said...

I've been there too. Take one day at a time and continue to be kind to yourself. It does get better, but it takes time.

Olive Juice Studio said...

I just found your blog and just posted another comment before seeing this. I am soooo sorry to read this. It does suck - my heart hurts with you right now. :-(

Susan DiMickele said...

Great to find you! From another crazy working mother - God bless!

sarah said...

it does get better, doesn't seem like it ever will but it does. You will be down, down, down and then up, then down down then up up then down then up... see it slowly evens out and then all of a sudden the ups win. And you are up, up, up then down, up up up up then down, etc... Sorry this sucks. I'm finishing a two year demise of a 17 year marriage. You do need to do what is best for you, your children and him.