Friday Fatties

My bloggy buddy Pam over at 2 Much Testerone has started a little cyber support system for those of us who are trying to shed some weight.  So I am jumping on the bandwagon!

I have been obsessed with my weight for as long as I can remember.  I have tried sooooo many diets including Atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Herbal Life, Suzanne Somers…  I am sure there are more, there are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head.  I have always been mildly successful with each of these diets.  But then my love of food overcomes my willpower.  I can’t just have a “taste” of anything!

I have worked out for years.  We have a gym at the Asylum (which I am going to miss more than anything except Emilio), and I go there usually 4 out of 5 weekdays.  I generally do cardio and ab work.  Fortunately, my new employer has a deal with a local gym as well, and I will be joining immediately upon starting that job.

Anyway, yesterday I had my annual visit to my doctor.  I dread stepping on the scale more than the saddling up and putting my feet in the stirrups!  Well, I have reached MAXIMUM density.  As always, I asked the doctor if there had been any new scientific breakthroughs that I need to be aware of – like a new drug that is going to magically make me lose those 10 extra pounds.  Nothing! 

So I need to really buckle down now.  My clothes are all a little snug around the middle.  I can’t even blame my kids since my youngest is almost 8 years old! 

The Enginerd is of no help!  He has actually told me that he wouldn’t care if I was 1000 pounds if I was just happy with the way I looked. 

One silver lining…  Emilio and I were working out together in the gym yesterday, and he assured me that even though I am at maximum density, I may still be considered a MILF in some remote areas of the world.  Thanks Emilio!  Incidentally, Emilio wrote a lovely post on his blog last night about my departure from the Asylum.  I intend to write a post about that in a few days, but I can’t do that right now because it just makes me cry!  

Anyway, count me in for Fattie Fridays Pam!  

Thank you to all my bloggy friends!

As I was getting ready for work yesterday, I saw an interesting report on Good Morning America:

Grown Up Mean Girls: Mom on Mom Cyberbullying

This report was basically on Mom Bloggers and how nasty they can be.  I am aware that some of you ladies have had to deal with that, and I am so sorry for that.

I started blogging to have an outlet to vent my frustrations.  So there are days I am totally slamming the Enginerd, my kids, my coworkers.  I vent here so I am less likely to vent at home or at work.  But the idea that some of you have done the same and have been bullied by other Moms in one way or another is absolutely appalling to me!

So to all of you Moms out there with whom I blog and comment and email and tweet back and forth, I just want to say thank you for all of your support and encouragement!    Thank you for not judging me and being so wonderful with all of your comments!  Thank you for being grown up enough to know when I am joking or being sarcastic or just venting!

Love you guys!

Post it Note Tuesday

Woo hoo! My favorite day for blogging! I communicate much better in short random thoughts on post-it notes!

Deep Thoughts n'at

Random ramblings today:

• I have accepted a position with another company and will be leaving the asylum.  But not to worry, I know many people at the new company, so I am sure it will be just as crazy there!  However, since accepting this new position, I have been so motivated at home.  I have actually been getting up early and doing laundry and straightening up the house.  Shocking I know!  It's amazing what this little change has done to pick me up out of my rut!

• I kicked the laundry fairy's ass this weekend!  It was a hard fought battle, but I was victorious!  For those of you unfamiliar with the laundry fairy, head over the Kate and Lydia's blog Rants From MommyLand to learn more - you can click here and here for some awesome funniness about the laundry fairy! While beating the laundry fairy to a bloody pulp, I learned that my daughter no longer wears matching socks.  EVER.  This has contributed to the pile of socks that appear to have no match.  So, now I just throw her socks into her drawer un-matched, and let her sort it out. 

• Hubby and I had a lovely anniversary celebration...  Grandma took Satan and Lucifer for the afternoon and night.  Hubby planted his ass in the recliner, and I planted mine on the couch, and we drank heavily while watching the Pens play Ottawa.  Then for old time's sake, I latched onto his neck like a leach, and gave him a sucker bite (it should be hidden by his shirt).  Well when hubby realized what was happening, he started wrestling like John Cena - during the struggle to remove me from his neck, I seem to have pulled a muscle that spans my neck, shoulder, and back.  That didn't happen when we were 16!

•  My 7-yr-old daughter is the most thoughtful, sweet, kind, and generous person I know!  I have always thought she was an old soul.  She says very mature things for a 7-yr-old.  So the other night we were watching American Idol - actually she was watching and I was reading a book.  They were having some kind of benefit for multiple charities, and apparently they were talking about helping children in other countries who are underprivileged or orphaned.  So K-Lo decided we needed to adopt a child from one of those countries.  And she didn't mean that we should send money.  She wanted to bring a child here to live with us.  While I was so touched by her compassion, I tried to delicately explain to her that we couldn't just adopt a child - Mommy and Daddy just can't take care of another child right now.  So she said she would take care of "it".  To which I said, "it" is a person!  She is so sweet!  She has brought this up a few times since then, trying to talk me into this.  

• My sister is scheduled to be induced tomorrow, if she doesn't go into labor sooner.  This will be her first child.  And she is clueless (weren't we all??)!  I am so going to enjoy watching her mental decline! 

• Emilio is my super bestest BFF!  He is such a nut, drinking and texting with me during the Pens game!  Saturday night drunken texting and tweeting has become my new favorite past-time! We are planning our next book club for anyone who will be in the Burgh - not sure of the exact date yet, but I will keep everyone posted.  If any of you are interested in learning more about Emilio, you can link over to his blog here.  I also have a link in my sidebar.

• I have removed my daughters Ben Roethlisberger jersey from her wardrobe!  I will not allow any piece of clothing with his name to be worn by my children.  He is a filthy disgusting douchebag, and I don't frankly care that he wasn't charged or convicted of assaulting the young lady in Georgia.  I am so worked up about this that I had a dream I was in Lima Ohio which is Roethlisberger's hometown.   I had the misfortune of spending 2 weeks in that town during my first job out of college - I suspect that he was probably about 10 years old at the time.  Go away Ben!  Pittsburgh is too good for you!

• I bought the Reebok EasyTone tennis shoes.  Relax they are not butt-fugly like the Shape-Ups.   These shoes are supposed to tone my legs and ass.  Yes - I fell for the marketing gimmick!  Honestly I don't think there are any muscles in my ass.  I have never been able to figure out how to "squeeze my glutes" unless I reach back there a grab a handful!   Anyway, I will let all of you know if I notice any difference wearing these shoes. 

Thanks for listening to my ramblings today!  

Post-It Note Tuesday!!!

Woo Hoo!  This is my favorite bloggy day of the week!  I love reading everyone's post it's today! 





If you click on the post-it above, you can go over the Supah's site and check out everyone else's post-it notes today.

Here are mine:

Beautiful Mothers / Grandmothers Bracelets

This weekend was my Mother-In-Laws (MIL) birthday.  So I decided awhile ago to get her a special bracelet with her grandchildrens names on it, and their birthstones.

Some time ago, I found the most awesome website for this kind of jewelry - Tiny Sugars.  The owner, Betty Ann is the most wonderful lady, and she will make anything you want!  Love her!  Emilio had a bracelet made for his mother, and I decided to do the same for my MIL.

Anyway, this is a picture of a bracelet similar to the one I had made for my MIL.

Betty Ann will customize any of the bracelets on the sight with names, birthstones, beads, whatever you want.


My MIL LOVED the bracelet!  I totally scored a home run with this gift! 

If you are searching for a special Mothers Day or birthday gift, I can't encourage you enough to take a look at the Tiny Sugars jewelry - you won't be disappointed!

Incidentally - I am not receiving anything for plugging Tiny Sugars - I just love her products and wanted to share with all of you!

New Kotex commercial

Have any of you seen the new ad for the U Kotex products?  There is a woman outside of a store, stopping people and asking them to go in and buy Kotex for her!  One of the men actually asks her if he can just go in and get her a roll of toilet paper.  (ew!)

I searched and searched for the video of that commercial, but I couldn't find it.  As soon as I locate it, I will definitely post it.  However, I did find one that was just as funny:




This scene just cracked me up!  The Enginerd refuses to buy feminine hygiene products.  EVER. He won't even say the words "period" or "tampon".  It is especially funny when my 9-year old son makes completely uninhibited comments about my period - the Enginerd just cringes!

I shouldn't be surprised, the Enginerd also will not buy condoms.  He is a 40-something year old man!  He has obviously had sex - we have 2 children.  And we don't want any more children, so...  unless he gets off of his chicken-shit ass and gets a vasectomy, we will need to buys condoms.  One time (at band camp - ok- I digress) we ran out, and I told him that we would have sex when he grew a set and bought condoms.  I swear that was the first time the man ever bought them! He was so pleased with himself!


I noticed an empty box in the bathroom trash can the other day...  I wonder if the Enginerd will surprise me and show me what a big boy he can be by stopping at the drug store all by himself!

Post It Note Tuesday

My favorite day of the week! Woo Hoo - It is Post It Note Tuesday!

I dedicate this Post It Not Tuesday to all of my family and friends who provide plenty of frustration material about which I can rant wax poetic.

I am a Trend Setter!!!!!

Heidi Montag is getting her Back Fat removed!!!!  This was totally my idea!!!!  Check out the article:  

Montag’s ‘back scooping’ baffles many

Oh my Gosh!  I have been ranting about my back fat for a couple of weeks.  Now, all of a sudden, Heidi Montag is coming out to say she has back fat and she had it sucked out!  I suspect she has been reading my blog and she checked out her back and realized she is getting back fat. I am guessing the photo above is the after picture.

Now honestly, I didn't even know who Heidi Montag was, but Emilio sent me the article Friday morning, and thought this was such an appropriate topic for my blog!  Emilio had never even heard of back fat until I barged into his office a few weeks ago and told him that I had discovered it on myself.   Now he is realizing the magnitude of this epidemic!

Honestly this is not the first time I have been a trend setter.  This is just like the time I told the Enginerd that computer companies should make their computers in cool bright colors!  Of course he thought that was a totally stupid idea, and he looked at me with that, "whatever you say" look.  About 2 years later, what happened - Apple came out with the colored computers!  Seriously I am way ahead of my time!

Writer's Workshop

I havene't participated in Mama Kat's workshop in awhile, so I thought I would give that a try today.






I am going to try to tackle the first prompt:

Baby fever is in the air. Describe what you would do differently as a first time mom.

First off I was a first time Mom twice.  What do I mean by that?  Well I have 2 children, 16 months apart, and they couldn't be more different.  For all you new Moms that have one child, the second one may be  totally different, and you think you are going to "fix" everything with the second one, and it's like you are starting all over and have never even had a child!

With my first child, my son D-Ro, I took off about 4 months of work after he was born.  I really enjoyed that time with him.  And when it was time to go back to work, I didn't want to go.  There was really no reason that I decided to take 4 months off as opposed to 6, 8, or even 12.  The company where I worked at the time, would have allowed up to a year off.   It was a wonderful time with my son.  He was a cuddly little boy, and I loved holding him.  Looking back I would have held him even more.  And I was so upset when it was time to go back to work.  That first day was so difficult!

So this was something I was going to "fix" with the second one.  I was going to increase my time off and I was going to hold the second one all the time.  NOT!  I did decide to take 6 months off with our second, but honestly after about 2 weeks at home with BOTH of them, I called my husband and told him to get ready to take leave, because there was no way I could handle 6 months of this!  Everything was totally different.  First of all, the little girl didn't want to be held.  EVER.  Let me re-phrase, she didn't want to be held by me!  She loved it when Daddy or Grandma held her.  Just not me!  Maybe she could sense the complete mental breakdown I was going through on the inside - I don't know. 

She was also a puker.  Constantly!  At first, she seemed so uncomfortable - she would just cry and pull her little legs up - we new something wasn't quite right.  We finally changed her formula to Alimentum which is a hypoallergenic formula, and it was like flipping a switch.  The discomfort appeared to go away.  She still puked non-stop, but she didn't appear to be in any pain.  So this was wonderful, and I remember thinking that now we would be able to go out and  go for walks and take her brother to the park.  NOT!  She started sleeping for approximately 20 hours per day!   Ok - this sounds like a dream right?  It really wasn't - I was a prisoner in our house.  She wouldn't sleep anywhere but her bed.  When I did go back to work, our babysitter was just astounded at how long she slept.  She slept 6 out of the 8 hours she was there!  Then we would get home and she would want to go to bed at around 5:30 or 6 pm - for the entire night.  We never saw this child!  

With my son, I worried all the time.  I was on the phone with the pediatrician 2 or 3 times a week, about any little thing.  I referred to him as Dr. Hottie.  Thank goodness he was so wonderful!  So I was going to "fix" this too.  NOT!  With our daughter everything was different, and I was still on the phone with Dr. Hottie 2 or 3 times a week!   How did that happen - I had already been through one infant - why did it seem like I learned NOTHING??

With my son, I hated the binky!  I hated it, and he loved it!  Our babysitter helped wean him off of the binky at about 10 months.  With my daughter, I was going to "fix" that.  I took the binky away at about 3 months.  The result - she started sucking her index and middle finger, upside down.  She still does this today at night!  She is 7!  I really fixed it all right!

I think the morale of this story is that no matter what you do as a Mom, you think you should do something differently.  But really, whatever you are doing is right for the situation.  In the end it all works out!   We all need to trust our maternal instincts a little more.  Our kids will love us and never know the difference anyway!

Post It Note Tuesday!

It's pretty sad when Hubby wakes up and says, "Hey it's Post it Note Tuesday!"   This is the highlight of our week!  Don't judge us!  We have no life!

The chaos I create...

I mentioned to all of you last week that I sent my resume to a friend at another company.  Well I had an initial phone screen and a phone interview this week, and the hiring manager would like me to come in next week for an on site interview and to meet the team.

What is wrong with me??  Why can't I leave well enough alone??  I am not unhappy at the Asylum.  I am in a rut, but I am not completely unhappy?

But my competitive nature kicks in as soon as I start interviewing...  I don't put on any kind of show or misrepresent myself.  In fact, I am brutally honest!  I use interviewing as a time to screen the hiring manager and the rest of the team to make sure they are up to the task of handling me because I know I can be a handful.  I have HR violation tattooed on my forehead!  Seriously, I have been known to be offensive, loud, aggressive...  I could go on and on.  But in spite of all of that, I am passionate about my job and my projects, and I think that really does show.

So, what to do.  Obviously I haven't been offered the job, and maybe I won't be, which will actually make things alot easier for me!  But I am going to weigh the pros and cons of the Asylum versus the new company:

Why to stay at the Asylum:
- Good working environment
- 15 minutes from home
- great benefits

Why not to stay at the asylum:
- no confidence in upper management
- no opportunity to advance
- concern for the future of the company

Why to go to the new company:
- new challenge
- great place to work (according to everyone I know there)
- potential to lead larger projects / room to advance

Why not to go to the new company:
- 45 minute commute - less time with my family (ok that might not be bad!)
- odd hours due to dispersed teams around the world
- satellite office - concern for stability in a downturn

To top it all off, my BFF Emilio is at the Asylum.  There is no doubt in my mind that Emilio could be hired at the new company - they have talked to him in the past, but he has been resistant to the longer commute as I am.  What to do - what to do??

I am going on the interview next week.  I will let all of you know how that goes. 

In the meantime, I am heading over to Law Momma's site, Spilled Milk and entering her resume makeover contest.  I wasn't going to enter it, but in light of the recent events, maybe I should.

I swear I am not happy unless my life is chaotic all the time!