Remember a couple of weeks ago I mentioned I was only mildly pissed off?? Well, I have reached my breaking point and am now completely pissed off!!
I was with the Enginerd for 25 years... Yes - you read correctly 25 YEARS! So we have been through alot together... And I KNOW he is a good person at heart, and I thought that he knew that about me. I also thought his family knew that about me.
But yesterday I read an email that I was not supposed to see in which the Enginerd called me a "stupid bitch" because I didn't make my daughter try on her new school clothes BEFORE the first day of school. And my soon to be ex father in law replied with (and I quote), "What is wrong with her? I guess she doesn't give a shit."
For the record, I TRIED to get our very strong willed daughter to try her clothes on before the first day of school, and I DO give a shit... (Thought I should throw that in just in case there was any question!)
Why would such an email exchange like this even bother me? I will tell you why... I have an enormous amount of respect for my Father-In-Law. He is a good man! And when I was really down and out many years ago, he and my Mother-In-Law were there for me (this was long before the Enginerd and I got married).
Don't get me wrong, we have had our share of disagreements - no doubt. But underneath all of that, I thought of him as a true fatherly figure. So when I saw that email, I completely broke down.
It was bad enough that the Enginerd called me a "stupid bitch", but honestly I can deal with that... He is mad at me - he is going to be mad at me for a very long time. The comment by my Father-In-Law cut like a knife.
But the story doesn't end there... A couple of weeks ago, the Enginerd and I went to my therapist together. He wanted to talk about some things, and that is a safe environment that I suggested.
During that session, he made his "last ditch effort" at a reconciliation. He claimed that his family is behind us and will be supportive if we choose to get back together. Really?? Not that I was considering a reconciliation, but that email didn't sound very supportive to me.
Then, the Enginerd took our children to Florida for a vacation for a week, and during that entire time, I couldn't get him to return my phone calls... I had to practically order him to have the kids call me. The entire week was extremely upsetting to me.
So I have a letter to the Enginerd...
Dear Enginerd: I am done with your mind games. I realize that you are upset and I am equally upset. But I am done allowing you to take advantage of me and this situation. I will continue to make sure the kids call you every night when they are with me, and I hope that you will keep your word and do the same when the children are with you.
I would like to remind you that you are not to malign me to our children. And I would urge you to make sure your family understands that. I will continue to cooperate with you regarding any aspect of our childrens lives - we both love them and they are the priority.
However, I have decided that trying to be "fair" with you regarding a financial settlement is not working. I think we should probably be sure that we are splitting our assets equitably and I am investigating exactly how we can do that.