So I snore... Well that is what I am told anyway... For a long time I was convinced that Satan and Lucifer were conspiring against me, and just pretending that I snore in an effort to see if they could drive me further into insanity. Then they got El Director on board, and he told me I snored.
One night I got the bright idea that I would record myself on my iPhone all night long to catch myself snoring. What happened instead is that I think I crashed my iPhone... I am not sure if the 7 hour 47 minute recording had anything to do with it - I just know that right after that recording, the iPhone suffered a horrible death. I never got to listen to that recording, so I still have never heard myself actually snore. I am just taking the word of some very questionable characters!
I do know that I wake up every. single. night. And I am starting to think that I actually wake myself up snoring. So El Director had a bright idea that I should try some nose strips, and he happen to have some for me to try - they were Target brand. And I must report that the first night I wore the nose strip, I slept soundly all night long, for the first time in as long as I can remember. I tried the Target nose strip a second night, and sure enough, I slept great!
So I stopped at the Rite Aid one evening between running to soccer and swimming and I bought a box of nose strips - they were Rite Aid brand. And that night, I used one. But by the next morning, the strip was missing - I still have not located it. My son did however reported that I did not snore.
The next night, I used another Rite Aid Strip, but I woke up about 4:00 am and tossed and turned after that. Eventually that strip started lifting up around 5:00 or so. My daughter wore one of the nose strips that night too (she does have a little snoring problem occasionally).
So that morning, after we were all awake, I said to K-Lo, "I wonder if my nose is too big for the strip??" Then I went downstairs to get her breakfast ready.
While I am getting her some toast, she is yelling down from my bedroom, "Size does matter Mom!" Um - WHAT??? She yelled that to me again. I seriously had no idea WHAT the child was talking about.
I went back upstairs, and she is sitting on my bed reading the box for the nose strips, and it does say on the box that some people require a medium-large nose strip, and I was only using the medium strips.
Hmph! So basically, my nose is too big for the medium strips! Apparently size does matter in more ways than one!
Clueless Turns 20
1 week ago